Loose Ruth Vs Rain Spider
Trigun Vs Desert Punk! A feared bounty hunter takes on a feared debt collector in a desert gunfight! Will either be able to keep up their tough charade? Intro (Tumbleweed Town, 0:00-0:30) It’s the mid-afternoon, and in the great Kanto desert, the sun blazes over a particular skeleton city, glistening off the sand. There is no life to be found anywhere, only the ruins of a civilisation doomed to destroy itself hundreds of years ago. Wait, scratch that, there is life. In the form of three bandits, each stripped down to their boxers, running out of the city with nothing to protect them from the scorching heat. Underneath one of the buildings, surrounded by all the gear he just confiscated, is the nefarious Rain Spider, and he kicks over a helmet belonging to one of the bandits. Rain Spider: Hoohoohoohoohoo! Hahahahaha! Yes, run away, run away! Run away like the little boys you are, less I collect your very soul! Mwahahaha... (Silence) His laughter is cut off when a bullet whizzes by him, putting a hole in his rifle. He turns around. Spider: Whaaaaaaat? (Menu, 0:00-0:12) The bullet is revealed to come from one of the smoking barrels of Loose Ruth’s rifle, and the man himself is standing on top of a small building not too far away. Ruth: Next one won’t miss. And I won’t fire the next one unless you don’t agree to come with me quietly. Spider: Oh, my, whatever did I do? Ruth: You’re a wanted man; that tends to happen when you jump from side to side. You’ve made too many enemies, and now I’m here to bring you in. Name’s Loose Ruth. (Sunabouzu, 0:00-0:005) Ruth cocks his rifle and aims, and Spider braces himself, hand slowly moving towards his belt. Spider: Well, my name is... (Silence) All is silent for a few seconds... All is silent for a few more seconds... Spider: NOTIMPORTANTGOODBYE!!! FIGHT!!! Who are you cheering for? Ruth! Spider! Draw! 60 (Sunabozu, 0:05-1:05) Rain Spider books it in the other direction, leaving behind a cloud of dust as he speeds away. Ruth: What the sh... dammit! Ruth fires three shots while the barrels on his rifle spin, but the time Spider gained by being a surprising coward allowed him to run out of range. As Ruth hops over the ledge and begins to slide down the building wall, Spider hops into his getaway car, parked neatly out of sight, and drives back out into the streets. He heads straight for Ruth, but the lawman isn’t fazed, and pulls out a Molotov Cocktail from his jacket, throwing it in front of the car. The car hits it and explodes. 49 Out of the explosion, Spider flies into the sky, cape billowing out behind him and making him appear like a flying reaper of sorts. Spider: Mwahahahaha, didn’t expect me to actually run away, did you? Spider pulls two pistols from out of his coat and fires at Ruth from the air. Ruth screams like a little girl and dances like an idiot to dodge, before Spider lands in front of him. He twirls his guns in his hands and smacks Ruth twice across the face, before he pulls out his rifle and swings it like a golf club, bashing Ruth in the chin. Ruth drops to the ground, but picks up his gun and sticks one of the extended barrels into Spider’s chest. He fires, shooting the wall twice, but allowing the barrels to rotate and smack Spider twice in the face, before he twirls the rifle in his hands and bats Spider in an act of revenge. 38 Spider: Jackass, I hope you... Ruth: Just shut up. Ruth plants his rifle in the ground and readies his arms for fisticuffs, before boxing and punching Spider in the chest and stomach repeatedly. After some abuse, Spider hops backwards and throws his arms out, dropping several smoke bombs onto the ground. Out of his cover, he runs, giggling stupidly, and speeds up a wall and into sniping range. With his rifle apparently now fixed, Spider snipes at Ruth, who grabs his own gun and goes on the run. He shoots at Spider, who shoots back, but every shot fired misses its mark. Ruth ducks behind a building to avoid the next few shots, before spider flicks his arm and a few sparkles fly out, traveling down to Ruth’s location. Ruth: What the? Spider: Surpriiiiiise!!! Spider slides down his invisible wire and drop-kicks Ruth in the face, to which Ruth responds by punching him in the balls. Both scream awkwardly in pain. 17 Ruth recovers first and puts his rifle point-blank to Spider’s head before pulling the trigger. The bullet bounces harmlessly off. Spider: Bulletproof, sowwy. Ruth: Then why the hell were you runnin’? Spider: Oh, I never run. Spider whips his hands out and his invisible wires shred Ruth’s rifle. Ruth facefaults and Spider socks him in the face, causing several teeth to fall out. Not willing to let his prey escape again, Ruth resorts to whipping out a knife from one jacket pocket and a Molotov from the other. He swings at Spider, cutting his chest, slicing his belt, and causing his pants to drop to the ground, leaving him standing in red and white polka-dot boxers, before he throws the Molotov at the mercenary’s feet. Spider merely takes out a giant flail from under his coat and prepares to bat the bomb away before he sees Ruth pointing another gun at his head. Instead, he simply pats the bomb to the ground. 3'' Spider: Ciao, biiiiiitch! The cocktail explodes and Spider runs off, giggling as he goes, into the horizon, kicking up a trail of dust behind him. Loose Ruth rolls his eyes and runs forward... only for his head to fly off his body and his arm to be cut into two different pieces when he runs through the explosion, dropping his rifle. '''K.O!!!' Spider runs back to the battleground, sees Ruth’s corpse, and begins to pick up his weapons one by one. Spider: Whoops, silly you, got ahead of yourself and didn’t watch for the Spider’s web! Looks like your soul is mine! Spider giggles and turns around. Spider: ...Hmm, come to think of it, even I’ve lost track of where I strung that stuff up.... shit. Results (Sand Mission) Announcer: THIS MELEE'S WINNER IS... (Announcer gets interrupted by the old village chief) Chief: RAAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNN SPIIIIIIIIDEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! Category:What-If? One Minute Melees Category:Gun Fights Category:'Anti-Hero VS Villain' themed One Minute Melees Category:'Anime/Manga' themed One Minute Melees Category:MP999 Category:Completed What-If? One Minute Melees Category:Joke One Minute Melees